Sunday, January 19, 2014

A wildfire called fibromyalgia

California wildfire near Los Angeles
California is in the worst drought conditions in 150 years.  Instead of rain the weather is sunny, in the 80's with Santa Ana winds blowing and gusting to 70 miles per hour in the southern part of the state.  As a result a wildfire burns acre after acre of timber fuel that hasn't seen fire in 40 years.  Australia is in mid-summer and wildfire burns there too.  In dry, arid regions it doesn't take much for a spark to become a wildfire that ravages the land and destroys homes.

One of 70 wildfires burning in Australia
The wildfires made me think about the insidious onset of fibromyalgia and how quickly those early symptoms turned into an illness out of control.  When did it really start?  I can trace fibromyalgia back to my 20's when random symptoms began to appear, which seemed completely unrelated.  The Restless Legs Syndrome, the IBS, unexplained exhaustion, slow recovery from exercise . . .    I wonder when that early spark was set before the fibromyalgia wildfire began that has ravaged my body and threatened to rob me of my life.  There was no doubt about when this illness became a wildfire that was completely out of control.  Symptom management has succeeded in maybe 30% containment, but what will fan the flames in the future?  That is when the fear and anxiety set in.  Will this wildfire be completely out of control again?  How long can I fight?  Do I have enough endurance?  Can I fight against depression?

I wanted to join some friends for a fun, 3-day trip to Tucson for a bead and jewelry show, but I realized that I don't have enough fortitude or physical resources to be able to do that.  I have to use the energy I have to fight this wildfire called fibromyalgia.  I feel cheated, because after all my friends that will be going without me are 10 years older than me.  So why can't I do this???!

There is one thing I do know.  If I don't stay at home and fight this fibromyalgia wildfire it will no longer be contained and then I will be facing a flare.  So it's time to regroup, get my priorities straight and be satisfied with my 30% containment.  I need to focus on what I can do and not what I can't.  After all, that is what everyone must do so I'm not alone.  Everyone has limitations in one way or another.  Hmmmmm.  I wonder what would happen if I set a backfire.  What would that look like anyway??  Maybe I should call in some firemen!  Ha!  Blessings to you as you fight this wildfire called fibromyalgia.
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