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The first step is to be honest with ourselves . . . if we can't be honest with ourselves who can we be honest with?? Give up denial, rationalization, and victimization and put yourself back in the driver's seat. That alone will give you more hope and limit self-defeating behaviors. Again, start small. I tend to self-defeat by eating the wrong foods and not adhering to smaller meals for the gastroparesis that tries to be my "boss" every day. So instead of me being in control I allow my gut to boss me around throughout the day. That doesn't make sense to me, but I do it anyway. Then I feel terrible, which results in a downward spiral. Not a good thing! So I must take control back and gain my freedom again. That's just one example of how easy it is to self-sabbotage our own lives. So, move forward and be free again. That's real freedom and liberation, which is what we all are searching for.