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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Narcissists practice isolationism

People with fibromyalgia have neurological sensitivities that leave them vulnerable to toxic people and toxic environments.  When exposed to these toxins the result is an increase in stress and a fibromyalgia flare.  One of the most toxic people that anyone can come into contact with is a narcissist.  For someone with fibromyalgia, narcissists are deadly.

Narcissism is a complex disorder that is perplexing to others.  This disorder can appear quite different from one person to the next, but there is one thing they all have in common: a lack of empathy for others.  The lack of empathy for others is the hallmark feature of narcissism, which can be difficult to identify because they are so clever at disguising their narcissism.  A narcissist studies normal human behavior by observing the responses that others have in a variety of situations.  They may appear to have friends, but upon a closer look those friendships are all superficial, and enduring, close friendships are absent.  The narcissist is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

The nuclear family is traditionally the primary support system, but for a person that has narcissistic family members there is no primary support system.  This situation leads to isolation, especially for a person with fibromyalgia that may have few support systems available.  The lack of a primary support system creates stress, which results in fibromyalgia flares and a decline in health status.  If this isolated person attempts to set boundaries on the narcissistic family members' abusive behavior or limits contact with their narcissistic family, these family members in turn purposely isolate the family member even more.  Remaining in this toxic environment with toxic people takes its toll, but the isolation from family takes its toll too.  It's a catch 22 situation.

As long as a person remains in the presence of toxic, dysfunctional people, they will be unable to function on a healthy level themselves.  The person and their fibromyalgia symptoms will be minimized, ignored and demeaned.  This leads to constant turmoil and feelings of inadequacy.  In essence that person must cease to exist to serve the needs of the narcissist -- a person that always has an empty bucket to fill, but the bucket has a big hole in the bottom so the narcissist must continuously feed off others in an attempt to fill that bucket.

There is no quality of life when a narcissist is close enough to cause you harm.  But they can only cause harm if they are in your life -- don't walk; run away as fast as you can.  Your number one priority is YOU.  If  you have fibromyalgia you absolutely cannot afford to have these toxic people close to you.  There are worse things than being alone.  Adopt others into your life and find solace and support within your extended "family".  The best advice I have ever heard is "Pick your family carefully."  Blessings to you and may you find solace and joy and freedom.
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