Embarking on a new adventure with Nerium

The last month has been so busy for me and I have had little time to write.  Since I have been on CPAP for several months my energy has been coming up and I am to the point where I actually want to be involved with something other than staying home.  I couldn't figure out what that would be so I let it go and waited to see what would come my way.  My husband needed to have an ultrasound done so the day we went to the imaging department I found myself looking for a good magazine to pass the time.  There was nothing but Sports Illustrated and Golf!!  I persistently went through the magazines hoping there was something else that may be of interest.  Sure enough there was a magazine Success from Home.  I snatched up the magazine and began going through it.  This particular issue featured the company Nerium International, a revolutionary skin care company.  I was completely intrigued with the product, which boasted an age-defying effect that would take 10 to 12 years off your face.  Oh my gosh!  This was it!!  This company was what I had been looking for and when I let go, it appeared to me.  I called the Independent Brand Partner, Angi, listed on the magazine front and she informed me that there was a Real Results Party the next evening.  So I went.  The positive energy in the room was unbelieveable and I met a large group of fabulous women and men.  So I signed up to be an Independent Brand Partner.  It has been so fun to be part of a company that offers me complete flexibility and the ability to make some extra money that could turn into some serious money.  I feel better, I am more hopeful and my energy continues to rise.  Who would ever think a magazine could have so much power to change lives??  The corporate culture is to give back and serve others.  The mission statement??  To make people better.  So as a retired RN I am back to serving others and helping people be the best they can be.

Meanwhile, I have used the day cream and night cream for 3 weeks and I have seen remarkable results.  Amazing!  So off I go on another life adventure.  I hope every day is an adventure for you.  Don't give up on yourself and fibromyalgias tenacious hold on you.  You can minimize the effects of this illness and get your life back one more time.  Blessings to you!!

Hope isn't a passive phenomenon . . . Make hope happen!

Image from ShaneLopez.com

Life isn't a spectator sport.  If you really want to live life you must immerse yourself totally in the experience.  In all lives there are ups and there are downs.  The most devastating "down" is the experience of chronic, debilitating illness.  But chronic illness doesn't mean the end of life, but the beginning of a new chapter in life.  After the initial grieving and that feeling of hopelessness begins to subside, take your life reins back and start directing your life plan again.  Just because "life is what happens while we are planning" we don't have to succumb to life's setbacks.  That's just to let us know we are still alive!  With every setback there are opportunities that present themselves.  They may be difficult to identify at first, but if you look closely enough they are there.

Image from Amazon.com

Shane J. Lopez, Ph.D. is a leading researcher on hope and he seeks to make hope less elusive for all of us.  "Making Hope Happen:  Create the Future You Want for Yourself and Others" is his book, which focuses on the possibilities and not the obstacles.  His prescription for success is to start small and grow hope big by creating a vision for the future.  Creating a vision for the future excites the mind and minimizes anxieties. (Lopez, Shane J.  "Five Years Ago and Five Years From Now", Success from Home,  Vol 10, No 6, pg 74-75.)  It's all about moving forward and not looking back.  That's a good practice for all of us in our everyday lives.  Spending too much time on reminiscing and hoping life was different from our current experience and reality is counterproductive and self-defeating.  Self-sabbotage just doesn't make sense, but first we must recognize when we are demonstrating self-defeating behaviors and that's the hard part.

The first step is to be honest with ourselves . . . if we can't be honest with ourselves who can we be honest with??  Give up denial, rationalization, and victimization and put yourself back in the driver's seat.  That alone will give you more hope and limit self-defeating behaviors.  Again, start small.  I tend to self-defeat by eating the wrong foods and not adhering to smaller meals for the gastroparesis that tries to be my "boss" every day.  So instead of me being in control I allow my gut to boss me around throughout the day.  That doesn't make sense to me, but I do it anyway.  Then I feel terrible, which results in a downward spiral.  Not a good thing!  So I must take control back and gain my freedom again.  That's just one example of how easy it is to self-sabbotage our own lives.  So, move forward and be free again.  That's real freedom and liberation, which is what we all are searching for.

The anatomy of hope . . .

What gets you out of bed every morning and gives you enough energy to make it through the day ever since the day you were born?  What feeds your spirit so you make plans for the future, go grocery shopping, plan your next meal, and face the adversity that every day holds for you?  In spite of the difficulties that you face each day, what is it that makes you fall in love again, adopt a pet or plan a vacation?  To feel a whole array of emotions each day, including pain and anguish and yet get on your feet again and move forward takes energy that hardly exists for people with fibromyalgia, but you do that day after day.  That miraculous spirit that resides within us all is hope.  When hope ceases to exist we no longer have the energy to move forward in life and that leads to stagnation and a downward spiral.  Hope is a critical energy force that we cannot survive without and hope must be guarded carefully or our life force and spirit will begin to fade.

Many people don't spend much time thinking about hope until they are faced with life changing events that put their coping skills to the test.  Anyone that has lived to 90 years old understands this concept only too well, because sooner or later everyone loses physical abilities and energy, and most likely they don't feel well either.  Since hope is critical to survival it is one of those innate components of our spirit, but as we face more and more difficult life challenges hope can begin to dwindle and fade.

Taking good care of our spirit and the hope that feeds it is an essential activity every day.  Cultivating an optimistic outlook requires a commitment to problem solving and the belief that defeat is not an option.  We may have some temporary set backs, but we must have the fortitude to never stop moving forward.  When you have a temporary set back rely on help from your family or friends to get you back on your feet again.  I have found inspiration from perfect strangers that are willing to share their stories about overcoming obstacles in their life.  These stories are meant to give us emotional support rather than serve as a personal challenge to meet expectations of others.  The most powerful force in eroding hope is the feeling that we are alone and no one understands.  We are a gregarious people and we need each other.  Some people find solice and hope through their religion and their church.  Others find the renewal they need from nature.  We are all different in how we fullfill our common human needs.  Focusing on positive things in your day while minimizing the negative things provides a beneficial boost to hope.  The belief that we can overcome anything because we are fibro warriors gives us the energy to meet life challenges and preserves hope.  We cannot afford to allow negative thoughts to creep into our head -- that is counterproductive.  Avoid a victim mentality:  spending time blaming others for anything in our life leads to stagnation and a downward spiral.  Cultivate self-responsibility and accountability and you will feel empowered in your life.  Feeling as though you have no power or control over anything in your life leads to depression.  Find things in your day that bring you joy and enthusiasm for life.  When you smile, do it for yourself and not for other people.  When you smile you feel better.  Develop friendships with people that are happy, positive and have enthusiasm for life.  Their energy and spirit are contagious and will help you keep your spirits up too.  The mind is a powerful tool -- if you believe you can or if you believe you can't you're probably right.  Spending too much time complaining about the state of things can sabbotage your efforts to maintain a positive attitude and safe-guard hope.  It isn't beneficial to maintain relationships with people that bring you down.  You know who those people are because you can feel them sucking the energy out of you.  In addition, listen to your body and care for yourself.  When you have a flare, pamper yourself and don't fight it.  That doesn't mean giving in to it.  Make a conscious decision to do nothing but care for yourself.  You are number one, you know.  So know how to say "no" and look out for yourself.  You are the most important person to you.  And it's okay to cry sometimes.  Experiencing all of our emotions is important to emotional health.  It's what you do with those emotions that really counts.  If you find that you are crying more than smiling you may need to see your doctor and a counselor to treat depression and anxiety.  We are all able to be mentally strong, which doesn't mean that we don't need help from time to time.  Be sure that when you need help you ask for it.

Twenty years ago I lost hope.  I had a life altering injury with severe chronic pain.  I was in a chronic pain program and I was participating in a guided imagery meditation.  The meditation led me through a forest glen along a bubbling brook and then to a clearing that had opened up to a beach with a sea that ebbed and flowed up onto the beach and then retreated back again.  There was a treasure chest on the beach and when the chest was opened there was a beautiful glowing ball of light inside.  I reached into the chest and picked up the ball of light and rolled it over in my hands amazed at its beauty.  I suddently realized this beautiful ball of light was the hope that I had lost and it was now found.  That was twenty years ago and I still cry when I think of that moment.  That was the lowest point in my life; I never want to be in that place again.  So I spend every day mindfully guarding my hope and I do whatever it takes to keep that spirit alive and well.  My daily plan is to laugh a little more, to see humor all around me, to love more and to have empathy for others.  I am more aware when someone doesn't mean me well and I immediately cast those people out of my life.  It is also important to be kind with ourselves and others every day, because we are all dealing with life challenges.  Oh yes, I'm more forgiving too, because after all we are only human and that's a good thing to be.  Blessings and peace to you as you find hope every day and never ever give up!

Hanging on the precipice of change

How are all of you on this beautiful day?  We have stormy clouds and scattered rain today.  It's the kind of day that I usually enjoy, especially because the garden celebrates the rain.  But on this day the weather seems to be oddly symbolic for the state of my beloved country.  A storm brews with the outcome of our election and I fear that life as I have known it with the abundant freedoms I have enjoyed is now gone forever.  I am in mourning.  We are a divided nation that believes throwing darts at each other in the form of hateful rhetoric will solve our critical problems.  We are on the Obama Care implementation path that will lead to a disastrous destruction of our healthcare system.  The thought of our healthcare system moving toward care rationing is frightening to those of us with chronic illness.  No one in the current Administration talks about care rationing, but that will be the result of this healthcare model.  In addition, we are perched on the edge of a fiscal cliff so high that the bottom is not visible.  I fear that solutions will come too late or not at all.  The change that looms before me and all Americans will be one of the greatest challenges of our lives.

I have written about change in previous posts.  I am quite adaptable and flexible with changes, because I am always in a problem solving mode.  The changes in my life have always felt rather comfortable, because I have consistently

It's a marathon, not a sprint

Remember the 2012 London Summer Olympics?  As I sit here at 3:53 a.m. I am reminded of those olympians and their extraordinary athletic feats.  Those determined athletes that trained so hard and overcame incredible obstacles so they could compete with athletes all over the world.  Did you watch those 2012 London games?  The passing of the olympic torch and the lighting of the olympic flame in the arena.  What a spectacle to behold.  I am also reminded of the beauty of the runners both long and short distance.  The sprinters, running with explosive intensity, displayed an exciting few moments when every fiber of their bodies are pushed to their limit.  It's an impressive few moments when the pain and extreme effort is evident in the bulging of muscles and the intense facial expressions.  The sprinters were quite a contrast from the long distance runners.  The marathon runners quickly settled into a paced rhythm, a focused concentration written on their faces.  Those marathoners appeared to be somewhat relaxed in comparison to the sprinters, after all, they were in it for the long haul.  Taking in fluids as they ran, they just kept moving forward.  The long distance runners didn't even seem to notice the other runners or the spectators cheering them on.  Their focus was so complete, their journey a personal challenge without dramatic fanfare, they just kept moving forward never changing cadence or their resolve.  That reminds me of another marathon . . .

You know, this race we run isn't a sprint.  Our race isn't even a race.  There's no celebration as we cross the finish line, because our race has no finish line . . . atleast not yet.  We run this marathon in search of the finish line with an unparalleled determination, fortitude, and grace.  We run with the relaxed, paced rhythm of a marathoner that is in the marathon of his/her life.  When we lose our pace, we stumble and fall, but we always get up again and get back in the "race".  With the determination and resolve

My Garden Guest

There came a little garden guest
a rapping on my door
to ask of me about my quest
and about the pain I bore.

She delighted me as she flew
and looked me in the eye
as if to tell me that she knew
I worked to just get by.

There comes a day, she conveyed to me,
when hope will find a way
to let me know friends are the key
and love me come what may.

And as she spoke to me that day
the tears began to flow.
I had no single word to say
so how was she to know?

The loneliness of this disease
just claws within my soul
and makes my pain so much to bear --
a mean and nasty foe.

But the wisdom of those simple words
console me through tough times
and soar within my soul like birds
with love and joy divine!



This poem is a tribute to Sid, my best friend and life partner, and to all of my friends  that stand by me every day during this journey with love, compassion and hope.  May each of you be blessed with enough love to make each day better and give you hope for tomorrow.  Blessings to you!

Hey, where's the joy??

I look for little snipets of joy all the time.  Joy is such an integral part of quality of life and if you don't have quality of life, what's the point?  You know, every day is a good day, but some days are harder than others.  The harder the day becomes the harder I look for the joy.  It's like being a sleuth gathering clues in search of an elusive prize.  The more elusive joy becomes the more determined I become to find it.  Not having joy in my day is not an option.  I have constructed a mental list of reliable joy sanctuaries so I am able to get my dose of joy any time I need it.  When all else fails and the trail becomes temporarily lost, I am comforted by the knowledge that joy can be found in obscure places; places that others may not recognize.  To find joy you must be highly observant and intuitive and be receptive to the clues all around you.  If you wait for joy to be delivered to you in a neat little package you will fail to recognize joy when you see it.  Joy presents itself differently wherever you

Dance to the music . . . and sing

 My good friend, Lori, reminded me of the therapeutic benefits that music has in reducing stress levels, reducing pain, enhancing our immune system, and improving our well being overall.  Research has shown that listening to Mozart three times a week can reduce the risk of heart disease and Mozart has also been linked with enhancing learning.  Making your own music is especially beneficial, because creating rhythm can extend pain fighting benefits by increasing relaxation, reducing loneliness, providing an emotional release and enhancing a spiritual connection.  ( http://www.everydayhealth.com/womens-health/benefits-of-music-therapy.aspx)  Much of what is known regarding music's healing effects remains anecdotal, but when you are in pain, and your energy and spirits are low, your choice of soothing music will help you feel better.  I'm sure you won't particularly care if science has proven the benefits or not.  I don't think beating out a rhythm on a drum would be a good choice if you are already pounding out a rhythm with a headache.  You may want to choose a kinder and gentler tune for that moment in time.  But the beating of a

The power of intention

Have you ever noticed that your day goes as well as you intend?  Your intention is your determination to act in a certain way.  Your brain is a barmoneter that can be set for any time period (an hour, a day, a week, a month) to be data specific sensitive.  The time period your brain may choose to focus on a particular data set is infinite in either direction.  That time period can be a fleeting moment when you barely notice something in your day or it can become ruminative and last a lifetime.   Data specific sensitivity can be established for any data set you wish to collect throughout your day or your life.  The data you wish to collect and measure may be related to pain.  How many times have I been in pain today, how bad was each episode for each body part and how does that compare to every day this week or month or year?  Or you may wish to focus on data about the weather.  How cloudy was it today, was the storm worse than yesterday's, was the temperature too

The spirit and face of a Warrior

When I see or hear the word warrior there are many images that come to mind.  I think about the great Mongolian warrior, Ghengis Kahn.  He was one of history's great leaders and he conquered most of Eurasia during the thirteenth century.  The Macedonian, Alexander the Great, is thought to be the greatest warrior the world has ever known.  He was a master of tactics, strategy, statecraft, and logistics .  Napoleon forged the finest army of a generation with his application of war principles, which resulted in a rennaissance in military doctrine, are still in practice today.  Frederick the Great, Julius Caesar, Gustavus Adolphus and George S. Patton are others that are well known to the world.

But there are modern day warriors that are not well-known and they wage a private war, many times in isolation.  Just like the ancient warriors these warriors apply tactics, strategy, statecraft and logistics.  These warriors are not readily identified, because they do not wear armour or carry swords and they have no army following close behind.  These warriors are armed with the Internet and look to each other for comraderie and to share strategy and tactics.  What characterizes these warriors that are so invisible to the world?

The warriors I speak of are an elite group of "wounded" warriors and their ranks span our mother earth.  The intrinsic enemy they fight is poorly understood and it seeks to destroy the body, the mind, the spirit and quality of life.  Its vicious attack is relentless.  Its persistence creates an urgency in the warrior it invades, but urgency only robs the warrior of precious energy resources.  The extrinsic enemy wears street clothes or lab coats; they are the warrior's family, friends, acquaintances and healthcare professionals.  This enemy is lethal, because it seeks to defeat the warrior's emotional resources and is frequently dehumanizing.  At a time when these warriors need emotional and physical support the most, they must mobilize a fierceness from within they have never witnessed before, and they must become their own advocate.  The remarkable characteristic these warriors possess is the ability to call up a determined and intense spirit that is simultaneously caring, kind, sensitive and supportive of others.  These "wounded" warriors have the ability to fight a fierce battle and yet demonstrate a compassion and understanding for others beyond themselves.  This unique capacity for compassionate caring for others while struggling with pain,

The Fibromyalgia Warriors . . .

A long time ago, maybe 18 years, I was reading a mini book about chronic pain and there was a quote that struck me, and you may have see this before too:  "Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional."  I wish I could give proper credit to the author, but that little book is long gone with the several moves I have made.  The reality of Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is that both chronic pain and misery are inevitable.  The optional part is how you choose to approach pain and misery.  Not a task for wimps, that's for sure!  I am impressed and inspired by the number of people with Fibromyalgia/CFS that approach their illness with dignity, grace, fortitude, humor and comraderie.  Not every chronic illness has both components; dealing with pain and misery together is the sign of a courageous warrior.  It isn't easy to identify these warriors, because they wear a clever disguise:  smiles.  How remarkable is that?  These warriors look "normal", they act "normal" and they don't complain.  Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.  The energy it takes to be among other people and have a conversation is astounding.  Especially when word find is so difficult and fighting through foggy confusion to gain clarity is ever present.  And that dang pain and misery can be so hard to ignore with its constant tug at the consious brain.  Kudos to all those warriors that wear their clever disguise every day and to those warriors that dare to tell the truth in a public forum.  You open yourself up for criticism, but to say nothing is to risk nothing and is to be nothing.  I heard that line not long ago and I'll be darned if I can recall who said that!!



I thought I would share something from my garden that inspired me today.  These blooms are so fleeting, they last about a day.  It reminds me of the moments when I can push the pain and misery from the forefront and it becomes mere background noise.  Whatever you do today, enjoy your moments!  Blessings to you . . .