Your spirit, essence and intention lingers in all those things you touch

This Christmas is so different from my Christmas in 2011.  Last year the house was decorated and the atmosphere was festive.  Multicolored lights twinkled on the tree and greenery boughs gracefully drooped around each side of the overhead kitchen cabinet.  The table was set with red Dansk Nordic Knits dishes and minature lanterns lit each place setting.  It took me several weeks to complete the decorating, but I was relaxed and enjoyed every moment of the holiday season.  This year is different, because there are no decorations and in their stead are stacked boxes of the belongings that will be moved to Arizona.  The excitement of the move has been replaced with the arduous task of packing dishes, glassware and other breakables with extra care that a long distance move requires.  As I pack each piece I think about the journey and wonder if I have packed it with enough care to ensure its survival.  I had special concerns with Sid's mother's antique ink well collection.  A good friend of ours, Bob, has his own moving company -- Bald Eagle Movers.  Bob will be moving us into our new home and will be the first of our friends to be stepping across the threshold of our front door.



The gift of carefully folded paper

A couple of days ago Bob dropped by with previously used empty boxes and a large box of neatly folded packing paper.  Bob had obtained the packing paper and some used boxes from someone that he had just moved.  It was so remarkable that each sheet of packing paper had been folded with great care -- all the edges were lined up and the crinkles in the paper had been smoothed out as if each sheet was an expensive linen being prepared for placement in a linen closet.   The tall stack of folded paper fit neatly inside a large box as if this box had been specially selected for a custom fit.  The packing paper I had purchased and had been using for packing was a rather monotonous task.  Today I

Today is the first day of the rest of your life --

 When chronic illness is in your face every day it is natural to focus on the day that lies before you with a certain amount of anxiety and dread.  One day at a time day after day.  That's a tedious process which breeds sadness and discouragement and robs us of our life.  Fibromyalgia is such a tremendous personal challenge that demands so much energy just to cope each day; precious energy that we don't have.  That's a static place to be.  To feel alive it is important to live in a dynamic place. Enjoyment of life includes residing in a dynamic environment that embraces change and challenge.  Every living thing must meet the challenges life poses every day.  Those challeneges remind us that we are alive and vital human beings.  Those life challeneges are not so ominous when we have a solid life partner and good friends.  Those people will help us through life's challenges as we help them too.  It is so beneficial to be able to ask for help when you need it.  The word "help" is a magical word that engages others with us and confirms that the helper also has another life purpose too.

So today is the first day of the rest of your life.  How will you spend that day?  What changes will you make to ensure you don't spend that day in a sad place?  A good friend of mine chose to have a beer the other day.  That single decision

Connecting to the earth and our energy flow. . .

The other day we had rain . . . I'm talking buckets of rain.  Spillways and streams have been silent in suspended animation all summer as they wait patiently for the rains.  We haven't had rain for 7 months so the first rain is quite a welcome site.  I water my garden during the dry summer, but many plants just struggle for survival as they yearn for mother nature's life giving rain.  So the other morning my plants gayly reached for the sky in delight as rain caressed each tiny leaf.  Those plants that struggled the day before for their mere existance flourish today in celebration of the rain.  It reminded me of being back in the midwest where I grew up.  We referred to the heavy rain as raining cats and dogs.  We even had a rare clap of thunder with lightening just like the midwest.  You may already know that lightening liberates nitrogen from the air, which provides the nutrients that plants need to thrive.  The day before the rain my newly planted impatients looked droopy and sad.  I thought I had done everything I could for them, but what they needed was the one thing I couldn't provide -- rain.  The rain is the harbinger of autumn, and winter to come here in Southern California.

I spent time in my garden today with all the happy plants  . . . and the weeds.  It's wonderfully cool outside and perfect for getting grounded in the garden.  Connecting to the earth helps us to ground our energy and regain a beneficial energy flow.  My good friend, Shirley, introduced me to Earthing, which is method of grounding with Mother Earth.  I always knew that digging in the dirt felt so therapeutic; no matter how much pain I have, I am always drawn

It's a marathon, not a sprint

Remember the 2012 London Summer Olympics?  As I sit here at 3:53 a.m. I am reminded of those olympians and their extraordinary athletic feats.  Those determined athletes that trained so hard and overcame incredible obstacles so they could compete with athletes all over the world.  Did you watch those 2012 London games?  The passing of the olympic torch and the lighting of the olympic flame in the arena.  What a spectacle to behold.  I am also reminded of the beauty of the runners both long and short distance.  The sprinters, running with explosive intensity, displayed an exciting few moments when every fiber of their bodies are pushed to their limit.  It's an impressive few moments when the pain and extreme effort is evident in the bulging of muscles and the intense facial expressions.  The sprinters were quite a contrast from the long distance runners.  The marathon runners quickly settled into a paced rhythm, a focused concentration written on their faces.  Those marathoners appeared to be somewhat relaxed in comparison to the sprinters, after all, they were in it for the long haul.  Taking in fluids as they ran, they just kept moving forward.  The long distance runners didn't even seem to notice the other runners or the spectators cheering them on.  Their focus was so complete, their journey a personal challenge without dramatic fanfare, they just kept moving forward never changing cadence or their resolve.  That reminds me of another marathon . . .

You know, this race we run isn't a sprint.  Our race isn't even a race.  There's no celebration as we cross the finish line, because our race has no finish line . . . atleast not yet.  We run this marathon in search of the finish line with an unparalleled determination, fortitude, and grace.  We run with the relaxed, paced rhythm of a marathoner that is in the marathon of his/her life.  When we lose our pace, we stumble and fall, but we always get up again and get back in the "race".  With the determination and resolve

Nurturing your mind, body and spirit . . .

Today I received a message from a good friend of mine.  She was so distressed that she had missed another family party and the criticisms that she can only imagine that come from family and friends when her husband arrives alone.  I am astounded at how we are able to feel each other's pain from messages that come to us in cyberspace.  Some of that pain is a recognizable personal pain that comes from our own personal experiences.  We have all been in that same place.  Either that or we attend family and friend get togethers regardless of how we feel; in essence we put ourselves last.

In a previous blog post, Don't Ever Let Them See You Sweat, I talked about our invisible illness and how that actually helped me to keep working.  My writing was focused on that warrior side of us that won't give in to this illness.  But that is only part of our collective story.  It is critical that we listen to our bodies every day and that we place ourselves first so we can be as healthy as possible.  I want to reiterate that we absolutely cannot wait until others understand the gravity of our illness and the daily struggle for wellness.  For our own quality of life, our survival, and our ability to thrive, we must be

Reviving a battered spirit

I have talked with others that suffer with fibromyalgia and I frequently find that these gentle, sensitive souls have been emotionally battered and bruised over the course of their illness.  I have been thinking about the many challenges that we must overcome and the tremendous toll that these difficult challenges can have over time.  I imagine that you, a person struggling with the challenges of chronic fibromyalgia, have endured many losses and harsh criticisms over the years.  Those losses in combination with the harsh criticisms of others, including family members and healthcare professionals, during the most vulnerable time of your life have most likely eroded your spirit and self esteem.  The grief and loss of losing your previously robust brain and body can be overwhelming as you struggle to maintain your identity and dignity.  At a time when you need a solid, supportive partner the most, is when none may exist or your partner may have taken flight and filed for divorce.  Friends frequently have difficulty understanding your limitations brought on by fibromyalgia and may make unkind remarks that further erodes your already battered spirit.  Those friends frequently disappear over time.  A fading support system coupled with the stuggle of searching for treatment where no definitive treatment currently exists, creates another layer of stressors and feelings of

The spirit and face of a Warrior

When I see or hear the word warrior there are many images that come to mind.  I think about the great Mongolian warrior, Ghengis Kahn.  He was one of history's great leaders and he conquered most of Eurasia during the thirteenth century.  The Macedonian, Alexander the Great, is thought to be the greatest warrior the world has ever known.  He was a master of tactics, strategy, statecraft, and logistics .  Napoleon forged the finest army of a generation with his application of war principles, which resulted in a rennaissance in military doctrine, are still in practice today.  Frederick the Great, Julius Caesar, Gustavus Adolphus and George S. Patton are others that are well known to the world.

But there are modern day warriors that are not well-known and they wage a private war, many times in isolation.  Just like the ancient warriors these warriors apply tactics, strategy, statecraft and logistics.  These warriors are not readily identified, because they do not wear armour or carry swords and they have no army following close behind.  These warriors are armed with the Internet and look to each other for comraderie and to share strategy and tactics.  What characterizes these warriors that are so invisible to the world?

The warriors I speak of are an elite group of "wounded" warriors and their ranks span our mother earth.  The intrinsic enemy they fight is poorly understood and it seeks to destroy the body, the mind, the spirit and quality of life.  Its vicious attack is relentless.  Its persistence creates an urgency in the warrior it invades, but urgency only robs the warrior of precious energy resources.  The extrinsic enemy wears street clothes or lab coats; they are the warrior's family, friends, acquaintances and healthcare professionals.  This enemy is lethal, because it seeks to defeat the warrior's emotional resources and is frequently dehumanizing.  At a time when these warriors need emotional and physical support the most, they must mobilize a fierceness from within they have never witnessed before, and they must become their own advocate.  The remarkable characteristic these warriors possess is the ability to call up a determined and intense spirit that is simultaneously caring, kind, sensitive and supportive of others.  These "wounded" warriors have the ability to fight a fierce battle and yet demonstrate a compassion and understanding for others beyond themselves.  This unique capacity for compassionate caring for others while struggling with pain,