Highly sensitive people are especially at risk when encountering a narcissist

People with fibromyalgia are frequently highly sensitive people or empaths.  Being an empath means that you have the ability to actually feel the emotions of others as if they are your own.  When others are celebrating and happy, the result for the empath is exuburance and euphoria; that feels so good.  But when others are grieving, sad, angry or experiencing a "hot" emotion, the result can be difficult for the empath if the empath has no way to protect themselves.  Being sensitive to the environment and energy fields of others requires a special skill set that other people don't have and don't really need.  One of the biggest difficulties in being an empath is that other people don't understand your sensitive and expanded perceptions of the world and the result is feeling isolated from others.

Tyler J. Hebert describes the empath in depth in his article "Empath (The Extra-Sensitive Being)" at http://www.academia.edu/2611976/empath_the_extra_sensitive_being.  Hebert describes the empath as "a person that is hypersensitive to the emotions and energy of other people, as well as animals".  Hebert goes on to say that empaths have a sense of "knowing' and a very strong intuitive sense.  In other words, empaths have an extremely high EQ or emotional quotient.  I find it interesting that the way we have been easily identified is we have fibromyalgia.  Empaths are selfless people that often times put the needs of others before themselves.  Empaths are people that are loved in their social circles, because they relate to other people on a much deeper level than most.  The empath's energy is different and people automatically sense this energy and are drawn to the empath.  The empath's astuteness, which can leave the empath with feelings of isolation, can put the empath at higher risk of suicidal tendencies.  The empath absorbs the emotions of others and if the empath is unaware of this, the empath has the tendency to own those emotions.  That's why I frequently remind myself that what I receive from others is not about me.  Gaining an understanding of your empathic nature is critical in determining which emotions belong to yourself and which emotions belong to someone else.  Without that knowledge the empath may personalize everything around them and become defensive.  In addition, the empath may be labeled as co-dependant due to their sensitivity and identification with others' emotions, especially in relationship to their close partner.

The opposite of being an empath is narcissism.  A personal relationship with a narcissist takes a huge toll on the empath.  The hallmark features of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder is lack of empathy for others, verbal abusiveness, inability to relate to others on a deeper level, manipulative behaviors, controlling behaviors and explosive anger with exaggerated acting out behaviors that are not appropriate for the circumstances.  They frequently are pathological liars and they view other people in absolutes -- either all good or all bad.  Surprisingly, narcissists have a low self-esteem, which results in a need to be adored often.  They are also quite unaware of their own narcissism, which results in blaming their short-comings on others.

 Narcissists have no tolerance for disagreement and they never admit to being wrong.  There are different types of narcissists with numerous subtypes, making the identification of the narcissist difficult.  It can take a decade or more to identify the narcissist and if you are in a close relationship with a narcissist it can take absolute decades since their behavior can be confusing; you can't see the forest for the trees.  Narcissistic behaviors are also difficult to identify since they are masters of the facade.  Narcissists work diligently to mask their true selves, which results in their popularity in superficial circumstances.  When a narcissist is known on a deeper level their popularity fades and they have few if any long term relationships. 

I know the deep toll a narcissist has on an empath first-hand.  My mother, my identical twin sister, my daughter and my former husband are all narcissists.  In order to have relationships with these people I had to lose myself in the process.  I struggled for years to maintain these relationships, but in the end the effort it took and the toll on me was just too much, especially after I became chronically ill with fibromyalgia.  The continuous psychic bombardment required more energy than I could muster and in the end my health has suffered.  It is so critical for the fibromyalgia sufferer to gain an understanding of their gifts so there is an ability to set boundaries on the emotional energies of others that can suck the life out of you.  With every blessing resides a curse or downside.  If you are aware of which emotions belong to you and which ones belong to another you will be able to moderate your response to the heat of those emotions.  Anger has been a difficult emotion for me to moderate since I feel another's anger throughout my entire body.  Anger along with fear are two of the hottest emotions and your guard must be strong enough to avoid their devastating effects.  When interacting with someone I remain intellectually aware of how that person makes me feel so I am better able to moderate my reactions.  This has taken years of practice to develop the ability to keep my guard in place.  I purposely maintain some level of distance as a means of personal protection and when hot emotions begin to swirl around me I seek to give them back to their origin.

In the end, your ability to intellectually understand your gifts (along with their benefits and difficulties) will help you have more control over the environment that can seek to destroy you otherwise.  Blessings to you as you discover the essence that is you and the wonderful gifts that you have!

We are only human and that's a good thing

Being human is quite a rollercoaster ride: we have lots of ups and lots of downs.  The difficulty with a chronic illness is it seems as though there are more downs than ups and that most likely is reality.  To face a difficult challenge every day requires a great deal of emotional and physical energy, which is probably in short supply.  When you think you are about as low as you can go, you discover that "pit" you're sinking into is bottomless.  Being highly sensitive sure doesn't help.  You are not only dealing with your own realities, but you are receiving signals from others which tend to zap your emotional energy.  So what is a "Fibromite" to do when that rollercoaster seems to be going in only one direction:  down?

Barbara Keddy, a Women and Fibromyalgia blogger (see my blog list), recently wrote about self-acceptance and avoiding self-criticism.  Barbara's introspective blog encourages people with chronic illness to avoid negative self-talk that only serves to put one's self down.  The messages that we receive from people around us, including medical professionals, can be negative messages that we may be tempted to personalize, which may then lead to negative self-talk.  The messages we receive from others actually tell us who those people are and their messages are not about us at all.  That can be a difficult concept since as humans (extra sensitive humans!) we most likely will have an emotional response to the messages we receive.  That's just about being human.  But we are also intellectual beings too and that gives us the opportunity to decide how we will use that message and our emotional response to that message.  It is the decision you make about the message and your response that will determine whether you have closure or if you sink further into that "pit".  For example, if a health professional doesn't give you a supportive message you may feel anger, frustration, sadness and a myriad of other emotions.  That's just about being human.  If we seek out a more supportive health professional, that's a positive action.  Ultimately that's how we get what we need for ourselves and find closure at the same time
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We have a tendency to label our human experience as either good or bad, but in reality there is no such thing.  Our human experience is what it is and it is a wonderful thing to go along for that ride.  Our human experience should be a full experience that includes the entire continuum without being censored.  Our emotional reaction to our experience should be embraced and our intellectual understanding of that experience is just that -- understanding.  Isn't that what we all seek?  Understanding.  Understanding must first come from ourselves, which requires complete self-acceptance.  I become frustrated with others that don't understand, but my chronic illness is my experience and not theirs.  Other people don't have the frame of reference to really understand.  So I seek my own understanding and the understanding from others that share my experience.  I also extend understanding to others that can't quite understand my experience.  How could they understand?  This is a difficult concept for highly sensitive people since you more readily have true empathy and compassion for others, but not everyone has this ability.  The other day a person very close to me stated that "I need to just get over it".  That initially made me feel angry, frustrated and sad.  What I realized is this person doesn't have the capacity to really understand my experience and I must let it go.

My experience belongs to me and my response to that experience belongs to me.  There is no right or no wrong; it's about being human.  It is unfair for us to compare our response to the response others have, because our experience is unique to us.  When my day appears bleak it's a signal that I need to care for myself and that my needs must be my first priority.  Grief and loss are to be expected so honor those feelings and take care of you.  Be kind and gentle to yourself first and then you will be able to extend that to others.  Your experience comes first.  Feelings of anxiety, emotional pain and other uncomfortable emotions are not a sign of weakness.  We are emotional beings because we are human.  The more we embrace these emotions the better understanding we have of ourselves, and our ability to resolve uncomfortable feelings comes more easily.

When you look to others for inspiration and hope, avoid putting yourself down in the process.  Those people have down days and tough days too; you are not alone.  It's just part of being human and that's a good thing.  Blessings to you as you courageously meet the challenges of every day!

The nuance of attitude

Ozzie Osbourne with his son Jack

When I first got sick with fibromyalgia and I was dealing with the pain of an injury and two back-to-back surgeries I knew that my attitude was going to play a big role in my ability to overcome the misery I was in.  I have always tried to have a positive attitude, but some days that's easier said than done.  Experience has taught me that a positive attitude makes my day go better.  But despite this knowledge there are times when my attitude is in the pits and I don't like it there.  It's at those times that I seek out the wisdom of others suffering with a chronic illness.  This morning I was watching the news and I learned that Ozzie Osbourne's son, Jack, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis a while back.  Jack appeared on today's morning news to briefly talk about how he deals with his diagnosis and he made a profound statement.  Jack said, "I don't live with MS; MS lives with me."  The nuance of his outlook really struck me; he doesn't want his chronic, progressive illness to rob him of his life.  He views his illness as only a single component that makes up the whole of his identity and his being.

It is easy to allow a chronic illness rob you of your life especially when suffering with a life altering illness like fibromyalgia.  Fibromyalgia seeks to demand our constant attention since we must manage metamorphasizing symptoms that change character, severity, and location every hour of each day.  Fibromyalgia's chronic symptoms seek to erode our attitude and our quality of life, but that's only if we allow that to happen.  We are in control of our destiny despite the unexpected roadblocks that appear during this journey.  When we feel discouraged and our attitude is down in the dumps it is beneficial to discover how others are dealing with their roadblocks.  We may not be able to do what others our own age do, but we cannot give up our life for this roadblock called fibromyalgia.  This challenge seeks to find out what we are really made of and how tough we really are:  we are warriors.

The strategies in my toolbox are to avoid negative thoughts and situations that breed negative thoughts, focus my time on the things I really love to do, surround myself with positive people, and seek out the wisdom of others that suffer with a chronic illness.  I am interested in knowing what strategies you keep in your toolbox . . . .    Blessings to all you warriors as you go through each day!

Anxiety . . . controlling a silent beast

Anxiety is a beast that is ever present in people's lives.  Anxiety is the energy that helps people perform on stage or give a speech.  It is the nagging anxiety that makes us pay our bills or complete other tasks such as taking a test.  There is a fine line between performing well and having "run away" anxiety that impairs performance or prevents us from completing tasks.  Excessively heightened anxiety can be a crippling force that leads to inability to make decisions and results in mental paralysis.  Anxiety in low doses is beneficial, but when this beast threatens to run our lives it is time to regain control.

As people age anxiety can become more problematic.  This is also true with chronic illness and fibromyalgia.  In addition to fibromyalgia, many of us have other chronic illnesses and are aging too.  Life challenges just keeping piling on top of one another.  Luckily we have tools in our tool chest that can help to keep anxiety corraled where it belongs so that it serves a useful function rather than becoming a destructive force.

Within us we have three components of ourselves that seek to govern our behavior: the child, the parent and the adult.  Each has an important role in our daily lives and each must be balanced with one another.  The fear and anxiety that becomes unmanageable lies within the realm of the child.  That child needs a comforting parent and an adult that is in charge to provide stability to a fearful and anxious child.  Whenever I feel anxious about a coming event or activity that will require physical energy that I may not have or emotional events that will require emotional energy, I look to my parent and adult to take charge.  As anxiety begins to well up my adult tells me it will be alright and my parent tells me that I am safe.  That simple act of self-talk gets that anxiety back under control.  I allow the adult to take over to do the planning and I look to the parent to set boundaries and limits for me so I am better able to balance activity and rest.  This is a simplistic view of this complex interaction that operates within our minds, but it works.  The adult part knows how to ask for help and keep anxiety within tolerable levels when I need it; that leaves the playful child carefree to have a good time.

Positive self-talk is a powerful tool that we carry with us every day.  When anxiety begins to well up inside, call upon your parent and adult to provide solice, safety and action that your child is unable to handle.  Tell yourself that you are going to be okay.  For some people this self-talk takes the form of a prayer, and that higher power or God provides the solice and safety that is sought.  Give yourself permission to rest when you need it and to delegate tasks to others that will give you help.  Balance in your life is important in every aspect.  I use self-talk every day to help me keep my life balanced and to cope with the challenges I face each day.  That simple act allows me to feel more carefree, safe and able to find humor in each day so I can enjoy my inner child to its fullest.  Blessings to you as you keep that fun loving inner child safe within you!

Stealthy stress is ready to pounce!

Well, here we go again.  Here come the holidays and I am already somewhat dreading the season, because I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to keep up with the demands.  I don't know about you, but I have read all the articles about how to manage holiday stressors.  The suggestions are simple, obvious and probably won't work very well.  Let's face it, the holiday season is chock full of stressors and people with fibromyalgia can expect a major flare this time of year.  I love getting together with people, but it just zaps my energy and when my energy gets zapped all the other fibromyalgia symptoms begin to flare.  I know from experience that pacing activities and socialization, and balancing that with rest is critical to avoid that inevitable flare.  Two weeks before Thanksgiving I begin to fret about the thought of what I must accomplish between now and December 25th and I don't know how I'm going to make it.  But I do have my strategies and these strategies have not appeared on any of the holiday stress reduction lists I have read over the years.

The first problem to be solved is the expectation that the holidays are going to be magical and perfect.  Once I got that thought out of my head I instantly felt better!  I am hosting Thanksgiving this year and I'm not going to have a big crowd; there will be six of us.  But in the scheme of things that's probably 5 too many.  So the way I'm getting around pushing myself over the edge is to ask for help from everyone that is coming to dinner.  My good girlfriend of 41 years and her husband are coming from out of town.  They will be staying with us for 4 days and I couldn't be happier.  They are very low maintenance people and they are always willing to pitch in.  I also have a couple of other girlfriends coming and they are ready to bring sides and do some cooking and serving.  A little wine in the mix should help too!  So it will be busy, but I can pace myself better with all the help.  So that's my first strategy . . . ask for help ahead of time.  As usual I want to serve a whole bunch of food and then I think, "How much food can six people eat anyway???!"  So as fast as the list of sides and appetizers grows, I start cutting out some of the more complicated dishes I planned to serve.  My second strategy is to keep it simple.  No one is going to starve.  The house doesn't need to be perfect, because no one notices that anyway.  So my third strategy is to only invite low maintenance people.  My fourth strategy is to do as much preparation as possible before Thanksgiving Day, which is one of those "no-brainer" strategies.  My fifth strategy is to remember to breathe.  And my sixth and final strategy is to put my feet up and direct activities from a prone position if necessary.

For Christmas my strategies are simple:  downsize and keep it simple.  I am downsizing the number of cards I send, the people that are getting gifts, and the number of decorations I put up.  I have found the older I get the more important it is to save my energy to just get together with friends and family that are dear to me and are low maintenance too.  The holidays are frequently stressful due to dysfunctional relationships among the people that get together.  I know what pushes my buttons and which relationships are not good ones.  Life is too short and there aren't that many holidays left in my life to purposely sabbotage my good time by letting those people into my daily life or even for the holidays.  So regarding relationships and preparation for the holidays it's important to know exactly what the priorities are and then stay the course.  The result is a happy, satisfying holiday and little to no fibromyalgia flare.

So much has been written about stress resulting in a diluted connotation due to its overuse.  People casually state that they are so stressed out and many times it's about insignificant life events.  Stress is actually a deadly mechanism that can shorten one's life and it diminishes quality of life.  Stress causes increases in blood pressure, inflammation flare ups that can result in plaque build up in the coronary arteries, elevated cholesterol, adrenal gland fatigue, rosacea flare ups, chronic disease exacerbations, destruction of interpersonal relationships, increases in anxiety and depression and many other untoward effects.  Setting yourself up for lots of stress is self-sabbotage, which interferes with happiness.

I intend to keep the chaos out and the relaxation in.  I am making lasagne ahead of time and putting it in the freezer so my out-of-town guests will be well-fed with little stress for me.  I may go to Papa Murphy's and grab a fresh pizza to stick in the oven . . . they even have prepared salads and desert too!  Sounds like a good plan to me.  During this holiday season I am going to be number one so I can emerge from the holidays happy and unscathed with good pictures to remember time with my good friends and family.  I hope your holidays are good for you too.  It's all about the plan and the intention behind the plan.  Blessings to you this holiday season!

The anatomy of hope . . .

What gets you out of bed every morning and gives you enough energy to make it through the day ever since the day you were born?  What feeds your spirit so you make plans for the future, go grocery shopping, plan your next meal, and face the adversity that every day holds for you?  In spite of the difficulties that you face each day, what is it that makes you fall in love again, adopt a pet or plan a vacation?  To feel a whole array of emotions each day, including pain and anguish and yet get on your feet again and move forward takes energy that hardly exists for people with fibromyalgia, but you do that day after day.  That miraculous spirit that resides within us all is hope.  When hope ceases to exist we no longer have the energy to move forward in life and that leads to stagnation and a downward spiral.  Hope is a critical energy force that we cannot survive without and hope must be guarded carefully or our life force and spirit will begin to fade.

Many people don't spend much time thinking about hope until they are faced with life changing events that put their coping skills to the test.  Anyone that has lived to 90 years old understands this concept only too well, because sooner or later everyone loses physical abilities and energy, and most likely they don't feel well either.  Since hope is critical to survival it is one of those innate components of our spirit, but as we face more and more difficult life challenges hope can begin to dwindle and fade.

Taking good care of our spirit and the hope that feeds it is an essential activity every day.  Cultivating an optimistic outlook requires a commitment to problem solving and the belief that defeat is not an option.  We may have some temporary set backs, but we must have the fortitude to never stop moving forward.  When you have a temporary set back rely on help from your family or friends to get you back on your feet again.  I have found inspiration from perfect strangers that are willing to share their stories about overcoming obstacles in their life.  These stories are meant to give us emotional support rather than serve as a personal challenge to meet expectations of others.  The most powerful force in eroding hope is the feeling that we are alone and no one understands.  We are a gregarious people and we need each other.  Some people find solice and hope through their religion and their church.  Others find the renewal they need from nature.  We are all different in how we fullfill our common human needs.  Focusing on positive things in your day while minimizing the negative things provides a beneficial boost to hope.  The belief that we can overcome anything because we are fibro warriors gives us the energy to meet life challenges and preserves hope.  We cannot afford to allow negative thoughts to creep into our head -- that is counterproductive.  Avoid a victim mentality:  spending time blaming others for anything in our life leads to stagnation and a downward spiral.  Cultivate self-responsibility and accountability and you will feel empowered in your life.  Feeling as though you have no power or control over anything in your life leads to depression.  Find things in your day that bring you joy and enthusiasm for life.  When you smile, do it for yourself and not for other people.  When you smile you feel better.  Develop friendships with people that are happy, positive and have enthusiasm for life.  Their energy and spirit are contagious and will help you keep your spirits up too.  The mind is a powerful tool -- if you believe you can or if you believe you can't you're probably right.  Spending too much time complaining about the state of things can sabbotage your efforts to maintain a positive attitude and safe-guard hope.  It isn't beneficial to maintain relationships with people that bring you down.  You know who those people are because you can feel them sucking the energy out of you.  In addition, listen to your body and care for yourself.  When you have a flare, pamper yourself and don't fight it.  That doesn't mean giving in to it.  Make a conscious decision to do nothing but care for yourself.  You are number one, you know.  So know how to say "no" and look out for yourself.  You are the most important person to you.  And it's okay to cry sometimes.  Experiencing all of our emotions is important to emotional health.  It's what you do with those emotions that really counts.  If you find that you are crying more than smiling you may need to see your doctor and a counselor to treat depression and anxiety.  We are all able to be mentally strong, which doesn't mean that we don't need help from time to time.  Be sure that when you need help you ask for it.

Twenty years ago I lost hope.  I had a life altering injury with severe chronic pain.  I was in a chronic pain program and I was participating in a guided imagery meditation.  The meditation led me through a forest glen along a bubbling brook and then to a clearing that had opened up to a beach with a sea that ebbed and flowed up onto the beach and then retreated back again.  There was a treasure chest on the beach and when the chest was opened there was a beautiful glowing ball of light inside.  I reached into the chest and picked up the ball of light and rolled it over in my hands amazed at its beauty.  I suddently realized this beautiful ball of light was the hope that I had lost and it was now found.  That was twenty years ago and I still cry when I think of that moment.  That was the lowest point in my life; I never want to be in that place again.  So I spend every day mindfully guarding my hope and I do whatever it takes to keep that spirit alive and well.  My daily plan is to laugh a little more, to see humor all around me, to love more and to have empathy for others.  I am more aware when someone doesn't mean me well and I immediately cast those people out of my life.  It is also important to be kind with ourselves and others every day, because we are all dealing with life challenges.  Oh yes, I'm more forgiving too, because after all we are only human and that's a good thing to be.  Blessings and peace to you as you find hope every day and never ever give up!

Coping with a chronic, invisible illness

I frequently read other fibromyalgia blogs and a recurring theme is the frustration that others don't understand this illness.  After all we don't look sick.  When I look in the mirror I see what others can't and I'm sure you do too.  And that's really okay, because do I really want to look sick?  I was talking to a friend of mine several days ago.  We had traveled up to Flagstaff together and the full day really exhausted me.  My friend stated that she was really tired after the day in Flagstaff and I attempted to explain how exhausted I was after the day, but that didn't turn out well.  She said to me, "Oh yeah.  Your tired is worse than my tired!"  I answered, "Yes it is."  She appeared to be completely annoyed with me.  I explained that people with fibromyalgia don't look sick and it's difficult for people that don't have this illness to understand the complete exhaustion we feel.  The reality is people that don't have fibromyalgia have no imagination for how ill we feel and how sick we are.  So once again I find myself resolving to never attempt to explain this to anyone that has not experienced this illness.  We are alone with this illness except for the support we give to each other and to ourselves.  We absolutely cannot count on our family and friends to understand this illness.  In fact, it turns them off.  After all, who wants to spend time with a sick person that incessantly complains they are sick?  Not very many people.

My strategy is to have a great deal of understanding for myself and my friends that suffer with a chronic, invisible illness.  The reality is if I want friends that are relatively healthy then I can't make a face and try to gain their sympathy.  I can't even try to gain their empathy; they aren't interested in giving me empathy.  My friends want to get together with me and have a good time and they don't want me to be a downer for them.  My husband doesn't want me to be a downer for him either and he's the closest person to me.  So, my resolve is to keep my misery to myself, but to care for myself every minute of every day.  That means when I'm unable to participate in an activity I just say "No".  I don't give a reason and I don't make excuses.  I just say "No thanks, but thanks for the invitation."  And when someone complains about how bad they feel or how tired they are I just snicker to myself and knowingly console them with the knowledge that they have no idea how tired and exhausted they could really be.

There is only so much we can do to educate those around us.  The reality is that if we persist in trying to get our friends, family and acquaintances to understand our illness the result is to just turn off everyone around us.  People in our culture like vibrant, young, articulate people.  I can't compete with that so instead I'm a good listener and people tend to appreciate that even more.  So I tell people that I have some deficits because I have fibromyalgia and then I let it go at that.  If they are really interested in me they will take the time and put forth the effort to find out what fibromyalgia is all about.  There is volumes of information available to people.  The truth is that the majority of people aren't really all that interested.  Since we cannot control those people around us we must just let it go and take care of ourselves.  I ask myself "How important are all those opinions anyway?"  Those opinions don't amount to a hill of beans.  There is only one opinion in the world that counts to me and that's my own opinion.  I frankly don't have the time or energy available to invest in someone else's ignorance.  So I happily go through my day and give myself the understanding I need about my ups and downs and I couldn't give a hoot about all those ignorant souls out there that just don't get it.  And it isn't a bad thing to put on a happy face, because we are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be regardless of our trials and tribulations.  Blessings to you as you go through each day with care and understanding for yourself!  Peace to you . . .

Fibromyalgia mystery may finally be solved

A good friend of mine shared this link with me that states the fibromyalgia mystery is finally solved.  How many times have our hopes resulted in sad disappointments?  It is my hope that the numerous A-V shunts that have been discovered in fibromyalgia patients will lead to treatments and possibly a cure.  The article only addresses pain and fatigue, which is just the tip of the iceberg so I am unsure of how other autonomic, sensory and motor nervous system symptoms come into play, but this is certainly worth reading and watching for follow up research articles.  Blessings to all of you as we search for the source of our illness!

http://guardianlv.com/2013/06/fibromyalgia-mystery-finally-solved/

Conquering the Pain

A zuni bear bracelet and matching earrings

Pain is quite a formidable foe.  It demands our constant attention, saps us of our energy, destroys our quality of life, turns us into grumpy people that no one wants to be around, and robs us of our life.  People with fibromyalgia have a daunting task to cope with pain that expresses itself as pins and needles, burning pain, sharp, shooting and stabbing pain, throbbing pain, body aches, dull aching pain, cramping pain, muscle pain, focal or global headache pain, pressure pain . . . have I described this accurately?  If you have fibromyalgia I'm sure you have additions to this list.  To sum it up it's total misery and fibromyalgia pain can prevent us from participating in activities that we enjoyed prior to the onset of this illness.  But never underestimate the power of the human mind.

Bead embroidery: a work in progress

The human mind has the capacity to overcome many obstacles regardless of how impossible those obstacles may seem.  The joy of learning is a key component for overcoming moderately severe or even severe pain.  This may sound too simple to be true, but it is.  People with fibromyalgia tend to be Type A personalities and that can actually work in our favor.  Challenges and learning something new exercises the brain and improves cognition to lessen the confusion, brain fog, and disorientation.  Learning when cognitive impairment is present requires a great deal of patience and determination, but as the brain engages in learning, cognition does improve.  Another component to overcoming fibromyalgia pain is fortitude.

My friend, Lori's, bead embroidery

A good friend of mine that has fibromyalgia and other chronic illness reminded me of how to overcome the pain and misery of fibromyalgia by introducing me to the world of beading.  I have found that beading gives me a creative outlet, provides me with social time each week with beading friends, and lessens my pain by engaging my brain with a new found passion.  I just love to look at all the beautiful beads and dream about what I can make with my beads.  The biggest problem with having a passion is having the sense to know when I need some rest.  Balancing activity with rest is the most important and beneficial tool that we can have in our fibromyalgia toolbox and it's a fine line between the two.  If we get too much rest we go downhill physically; if we get too much activity we go downhill physically.  It's quite a dilema and requires an astute balancing act, but with practice it becomes easier to know where that line is drawn. Balancing activity and rest is different for everyone and changes from day to day so no wonder this is a difficult task.

A set that I just finished this morning

If you want to lessen your pain and increase your activity, find your passion and balance your passion with other responsibilities and intentional rest periods.  You will feel better both physically and emotionally, you will increase your energy, and there will be more joy in your life.  Please send me comments about your passion and how that has helped you overcome the pain and other symptomatology related to fibromyalgia.  You may sleep better too!  Take good care and blessings to you as you face each day with fortitude, determination, and lots of patience
while you are discovering your passion!

People with a chronic illness are at higher risk for Influenza

The Influenza vaccine has always been under fire.  For some reason the Influenza vaccine has been blamed for numerous maladies and most recently there is information on the Internet that reveals a government plot to "shorten our life span" and to "inject us all with a GPS tracking device".  I can tell you it is all bunk and it seems there is significant paranoia about the Flu vaccine.  That paranoia is a mystery to me.  I have worked many years in health care dedicating time to increase the number of people receiving Flu vaccine.  That effort involved work with the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, GA.  I supported hospital efforts to ensure that as many people as possible received Flu vaccine in my community.  Let me tell you what I know about Influenza and the vaccine that can save lives . . .

Influenza is a deadly viral disease that kills thousands of people around the world every year.  According to the Centers for Disease Control Influenza related deaths have been as high as 49,000 people in the U.S. in a single flu season.  Influenza is a respiratory illness that is accompanied by cough, high fever and severe body aches.  Many people call a simple upper respiratory illness the flu and also believe that GI disturbance with vomiting and diarrhea is the flu.  These illnesses are not the Flu.  Influenza is an airborn organism that cannot survive on inanimate objects for long.  If someone has coughed and you immediately get a droplet on your hand and then you touch your eyes, nose or mouth you can contract the Flu.  The fact that Influenaz is an airborn organism makes it easily transmitted to large numbers of people in a short amount of time.  Influenza mutates easily from year to year so it is able to cause illness in people even though Flu vaccine had been received the previous Flu season.  That's why it is important to get a Flu shot at the beginning of every Flu season.  There can be a number of different Influenza viruses circulating each Flu season.  The 1918 Influenza pandemic killed an estimated 30 to 50 million people worldwide.  The 1918 pandemic was caused by an Influenza virus that was different than others that simply mutate each year.  It is believed the next Influenza pandemic may be coming in the near future.  Influenza is a deadly respiratory illness.  So now that you know what Flu is and what it isn't, let me talk about some of the myths surrounding the Flu.

1918 Influenza Pandemic

Some people believe they have gotten sick after receiving a Flu shot.  Influenza vaccine absolutely cannot make you sick.  The injectable vaccine is a killed virus so it is inactive, and the nasal vaccine is attenuated or weakened so the viral load is too small and too weak to develop into an illness.  That cold you got the day after a Flu shot is simple coincidence.  It takes the common cold about 10 days incubation period to make you sick so you already had that illness when you got the Flu shot.  The other day I heard someone say they don't get a Flu shot because it doesn't protect you from all the Flu bugs that may be circulating in a flu season.  I would have found this logic amusing if it wasn't so self defeating and possibly deadly logic.  It takes 2 weeks to develop immunity after receiving a Flu shot.  The level of immunity to the selected Influenza strains can vary from year to year and may not be as effective in people that are older.  Three strains of Influenza are selected each year for the vaccine based on the likely strains to hit the U.S.  There may be other Flu strains circulating, but the good news is that if you received the Flu vaccine, you have at least some level of protection from contracting those strains and possibly dying in the process.  The whole point of getting a Flu shot is not to prevent you from getting the Flu, but to reduce the effect of the illness so it is milder and so you survive the illness.  Survival is the reason to get Influenza vaccine.  So if you are complaining that you got the Flu even though you had a Flu shot, it's good news.  About the paranoia that the government is trying to shorten our lives with the Flu vaccine . . . if the government wanted to shorten our lives, the government would withhold Flu vaccine and that would certainly do it.  In addition, for some reason or other people become hypervigilant about every ache and pain after receiving a Flu shot and they are always certain the Flu shot is to blame.  The only problem I have gotten from a Flu shot is a little sore upper arm for a day or so and that's it.

Influenza vaccine has caused deaths due to allergic reactions to a component in the vaccine; if you are allergic to any component of the Flu vaccine do not get a Flu shot.  An allergic reaction can be life threatening.  My advice to you is to take extra precautions not to be exposed to Flu during Flu season.  Avoid crowds, especially in the grocery store.  There are lots of sick people shopping for food in grocery stores.  Another thing you can do is encourage the people around you to get Flu vaccine each year.  People that have been vaccinated against Flu will not infect people around them.  And the more people that are vaccinated the more people are protected due to a phenomenon called "herd immunity".  If a certain portion of a population is vaccinated the rest of the population is protected.

In years past people at risk of contracting deadly Influenza were the very old, the very young and people with a chronic illness.  Due to the emergence of H1N1 everyone is now at risk.  I have seen Influenza kill a perfectly healthy 10 year old boy and modern medicine could do nothing to save him, but he would be alive today if he had received a Flu shot.  Influenza is a deadly respiratory disease.  People with Fibromyalgia are at higher risk of not surviving a bout of Influenza, plus if you get sick for the holidays you won't be having much fun!  So, get your Flu shot now.  I have had an annual Flu shot for the past 36 years and have not had a bout of Influenza since I started getting the vaccine.

So that's just a brief introduction to Influenza.  If you want more information, the best resource is the Centers for Disease Control at www.cdc.gov.  The CDC is a wealth of information.  During this Flu season take good care and be well!  Blessings to you!!