Feeling better with a change of focus

I have noticed that when I focus on myself too much that my symptoms are so much worse.  I think about what hurts, nausea, how tired I feel, blah, blah, blah.  It's like an old worn out saga with just a beginning and then wandering aimlessly in a frozen tundra with no end in sight.  I really don't like being there.  That's a good time to start feeling sorry for myself and then thinking about what the future holds and coming up with a blank page.  There's no end in sight and yet it's the end of my story.  It seems way too soon to come to an end.

One way that I stay connected and feel better is to focus on someone else.  The person I'm focusing on doesn't realize what a gift I have received in them.  It is my intention to help, but in the act of helping I am the one that receives the help.  I'm sure that many of you already know what I'm talking about and you probably actively pursue helping others even if it is something little just to brighten someone else's day.  Or paying it forward like paying for a cup of coffee for a person behind you in line at the cash register.

I also like to shop local and purchase goods from people in the community.  That benefits me and it benefits the shop owner and keeps the community vibrant.  That also applies to the fibromyalgia community.  Many people with fibromyalgia have few financial resources due to healthcare costs and the inability to work.  One fibromyalgia blog I follow,"Of Dreams and Tears", is written by an "ecclectic artist" and she has a shop, Season's Way Collectables, on Etsy.  She sells original paintings, prints, jewelry, knit and crochet items and dolls.  The artist's name is Shelah and her preferred subject is fantasy art.  It is quite beautiful with a romantic flair that has the ability to delight.  You can access her shop at https://www.etsy.com/shop/Seasonsway

 Each morning I start my day by thinking about what I can do for someone else.  Mornings are the toughest for me so that's a good time to distract myself.  I would love to hear what you do that makes you feel better.  Blessings to you!

A hair loss remedy discovered accidentally

Before I talk about what I discovered I would like to begin by saying this blog is not a substitution for medical advice and I am in no way suggesting that this supplement will regrow your hair.  I am simply relating my own personal experience.

One of the most distressing things about being chronically ill was the hair loss I was experiencing.  My hair was falling out in clumps, I had very little hair on my arms and legs, and my eyelashes had become sparse and very short.  I experienced hair loss for a number of years and any time I became stressed, such as during my divorce and the subsequent long distance move from Minnesota to California, my hair loss would be alarming.  I attempted to communicate my concern with my primary care doctor, but the doctor wasn't even vaguely interested in this concern.  I tried a number of over-the-counter products, which are pricey, but none of the products that are specifically for hair loss worked.  I feared that I would soon be bald headed and have to start looking at buffing products instead!

Two years ago I was seeing a young rheumatologist that was interested in neurotransmitters and she checked my neurotransmitter levels several times.  The result of this test demonstrated that I was deficient in most neurotransmitters so the rheumatologist advised me to take a supplement produced by NeuroSciences.  This supplement was prescribed to improve my neurotransmitter levels and I was advised to take it at night, because it would help me sleep too.  The supplement consists of amino acids, which are essential nutrients.  The difference between this product and a vitamin is that these amino acids are in the form of micro nutrients, which makes it easier for the body to utilize the nutrients.  After taking this supplement for several months I noticed that my arms had more hair and there was more hair growing around my hairline.  It wasn't too long after that when I noticed that short, little clumps of hair were sticking out on the top of my head and more hair had grown on my legs too.  I also noticed that my eyelashes had become longer and a little thicker.  The only thing I had changed was adding this supplement to my medication regimen.  The doctor had prescribed two capsules at night, but since I had more hair growing where I didn't want it I started taking one capsule a day at bedtime and two capsules at bedtime on Wednesday and Saturday.  The name of the supplement is TravaCor and I purchase it online.  It usually sells for $60 for 120 capsules.  I have read that some people do notice side effects, but I didn't notice any adverse reactions.

I hypothesized that my gut issues have prevented the uptake of essential nutrients, but my body more easily uptakes the micro nutrients in TravaCor.  My hair has regrown to look like it did 20 years ago.  I don't mind paying the $60 because I have noticed a difference, which I didn't see with regular vitamins and vitamins aren't cheap either.  When I told the rheumatologist that TravaCor helped my hair regrow she looked at me blankly and then started talking about something else.  Doctors just don't seem to be interested in whether we look good or not, but losing hair is sure distressing to people -- guys included.  I would suspect that male pattern baldness would not benefit from this supplement, because this is a genetic issue and not a nutrition issue, but I could be wrong about that.  If you decide to try this supplement let me know what your experience is.  This product is not prescribed for hair growth, but for me that has been the greatest benefit.  Blessings to you!  . . . P.S. This product also helped my nails grow better and the splits disappeared too.

Reflections on a day

As I sit here and reflect on the events of this day I am exhausted.  I haven't slept well the last few days (no big surprise there) and when I am extra exhausted I am even more in tune with the environment around me.  That's probably because I'm quieter and therefore I listen more.  I spent time with friends today and that didn't go well.  It takes so much energy to socialize and when the karma isn't good that sucks even more energy out of me.  The karma wasn't good today and I struggled to make sense of that.  I spent some time thinking about all the events of the day.  I had an unsettling feeling after departing company with these friends.  I think one issue is that these friends don't understand fibromyalgia.  It can be difficult to keep up with people that don't know what it is like to be sick with this disease.  After all "I don't look sick".  I always seem to be struggling to try to keep up, but I'm always lagging behind.  That's unbelievable when I put so much energy into this, but the result isn't good.  The result is sadness and grief.  I think that many people with fibromyalgia grieve at least a little every day.  But getting back to the bad karma . . . as I sat with my friends and listened to the conversation, there was a whole lot of bitching and gossiping going on and as a result everyone seemed a little edgy.  The tension in the air was palpable.  As I studied each face they seemed to be oblivious to the tension.  When I was asked what I had been doing the past week I explained that I had been working to get all the Christmas decorations boxed and put back on the shelves in the garage.  One woman exclaimed that it's about time I got that done since today is the 10th of the month.  Totally clueless!  I was wishing I was back home snug in my jammies watching birds, squeezing my kitty and vegging out.  Sometimes trying to socialize just isn't worth it.

Why are some people with fibromyalgia so angry?

Life is full of difficult days, heartache, tough times, sad moments . . . I guess that's how we know when we are having good days, euphoric moments, happy days . . .    On top of all those complicated feelings and emotions I also pick up the emotions of others.  So I can be having a perfectly good day and in some way I come in contact with someone that is spewing anger and that has a profound personal effect on me.  Don't get me wrong.  I dealt with many angry people in my career and I was very good at diffusing anger and solving problems.  But the key was that a solution was agreed upon and the anger dissapated.  I have had times in my life when I was perpetually angry.  That anger had a life of its own and fed off of itself -- it was well fed.  Then I realized that my anger, which was a necessary emotion at one point in time, no longer had any use.  It had outlived its usefulness.  The result was that I was miserable and I was probably miserable to be with too.  I thought, "Who cares if I'm walking around angry?"  I discovered the answer to that question was "me".  I was the only one that cared.  At that point I realized my anger was no longer useful and had become dysfunctional.  So I decided to give it up.  I haven't been angry like that since, and that feels very good.  As a result I'm more resilient and more at peace with my life.  When I get angry I figure out the real reason I'm angry and make sure I direct that anger appropriately.  If that anger doesn't have any real purpose, I let go of my anger.

There are people that I come into contact with when I'm in pain, fatigued, irritable . . . you get the picture.  Those people can really bug me, but if it's only about me and my state of mind, I regroup and move forward.  Doctors can be annoying simply because I don't always know what they are really thinking.  After a recent doctor visit I was talking about my problem with not being able to fall asleep and the neurologist told me to increase my dose of ropinirole for Willis-Ekbom and then she said she would see me in 2 months.  I thought to myself, "What the heck?"  So I said in a sincere tone, "Thank you for your help."  I needed time to think about this visit.  I always take the time to process events so I understand what I really think.  It's difficult to imagine everything that is going through a doctor's brain during a 10 to 15 minute visit.  And all these thoughts are traveling at the speed of light.  Anyway, I took an extra ropinirol that night and I didn't notice any difference in my sleep.  So I did this for several nights with the same result.  I thought the increased dosage in ropinirole wasn't really helping so I cut back to my former dose.  I had to laugh.  I'll be darned if I wasn't more miserable throughout the day and the night.  So I increased the dose again and I'm feeling better.  Patience.  That's something this illness has taught me.  There aren't any emergencies and yet I can feel quite impatient.  Patience is a big requirement when dealing with a chronic disease especially one that is poorly understood and one that has no specific treatment.  In addition, fibromyalgia expresses itself differently in each person so trial and error is the care plan.

I read fibromyalgia blogs and the comments on these blogs, which are frequently about how angry these people are.  That anger is directed at caregivers, doctors, pharmacists, researchers, perfect strangers . . .  I wonder why these people are really so angry.  My guess is because they are sick and don't feel well.  But who's fault is that anyway?  I haven't been able to figure out who's to blame for my misery.  I sure would like to know so I could pop them a good one.  But I can't find who's really responsible for this.  So meanwhile, I'm going to live an uncomplicated life with joy, life satisfaction, love and peace.  Since that is my M.O. I work to eliminate as much contact with angry, dissatisfied people as I can.  It really helps.  But I'm not going to quit looking for whoever is to blame for all of this so I can pop them a good one.

Willis-Ekbom Disease (restless legs syndrome) research has discovered a possible cause and defined the mechanism that impairs sleep.

Willis-Ekbom Disease (rls) is often seen in fibromyalgia, but may be present in other disease processes or be a primary disease with no relation to other pathology.  In The Journal of Sleep Disorders and Therapy, Vol.2, Issue 6, 9/15/2013 at http://dx.doi.org/10.4172/2167-0277.100139 the pathophysiology of Willis-Ekbom Disease (WED) has been theorized as an imbalance between Dopamine and Thyroid Hormone in a research article "Willis-Ekbom Disease (Restless Legs Syndrome) Pathophysiology: The Imbalance Between Dopamine and Thyroid Hormone Theory".  I would like to summarize the findings of this research.  If you would like additional information you can access this research as provided above.  This is an open access research article.

WED is a sensorimotor disorder that has both sensory and motor components.  Four features of WED need to be present in order to make the diagnosis:
1. An urge to move the legs is usually accompanied or caused by uncomfortable sensations and/or pain in the legs.
2. The urge to move or unpleasant sensations begin or worsen during periods of rest or inactivity.
3. The urge to move or unpleasant sensations are partially or totally relieved by intentionally moving the legs or body part that is affected by the unpleasant sensations.
4. The urge to move or unpleasant sensations are worse in the evening or night compared to during the day.

Supportive clinical features of WED are family history of WED, Periodic Limb Movements during Sleep, and periodic limb movements during wakefulness.  In addition, WED symptoms that improve with dopamine therapy is indicative that the patient has WED.  It has been questioned whether WED symptoms originate in the central nervous system or the peripheral nervouse system.  Applying cold packs, massaging the legs or stretching the legs relieves some of the symptoms, indicating that WED symptoms originate in the peripheral nervous system.  Medications that relieve WED symptoms do not cross the blood brain barrier, which also indicates that WED symptoms originate in the periphery.  This research was initiated by the authors due to believing the neurohormone dopamine is released in insufficient quantities to inhibit thyrotropin (thyroid hormone) resulting in excess thyroid hormone.  The increased levels of thyrotropin exceed the threshhold for stimuli perception of the somatosensory receptors located deep inside the leg, and the velocity of signals in the nervous system is also increased, which is felt as unpleasant sensations.  WED symptoms appear or worsen in the evening and at night when thyrotropin levels are increased.  Additional evidence that thyroid hormone is involved with producing WED symptoms is some of the medications used to treat WED symptoms decrease thyroid hormone.  Since research has shown that WED symptoms are worsened with an increase in thyroid hormone, it is thought that WED is actually a very mild form of thyrotoxicosis with a circadian rhythm component.

Thyroid hormone has an effect on mitochondria and the production of ATP or energy.  The mitochondria are the power house in our cells, because they produce ATP.  Thyroid hormone also enhances cognitive or thinking processes in the brain.  ATP has an excitatory mechanism that also increases alertness.  ATP is stored with other neurotransmitters such as GABA or glutamate, a fast-acting excitatory neurotransmitter.  The cascade of thyroid hormone, ATP and glutamate in the somatosensory pathways result in WED sensations and increased arousal that results in shortened sleep.  Some patients have sensations strong enough that result in painful stimuli.  "The pharmacological and therapeutic evidence highlight the importance of a strengthened neurotransmission of sensory inputs to the sensory cortex (of the brain) as the ultimate trigger of WED symptoms."  It is thought that dopamine as a neurohormone and neurotransmitter acts in the brain to contribute to WED pathophysiology due to inadequate dopamine supplies to moderate thyroid hormone.  "It is known that an enhanced tonus of the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight system) impairs sleep.  As thyroid hormone may inhibit sleep, we believe that one of the mechanisms by which an elevated sympathetic nervous tonus system hampers sleep is through releasing thyroid hormone directly from the thyroid gland via its fibers directed to the gland."

WED is more common in patients with severe iron deficiency; your iron level should be checked by your doctor to rule out iron deficiency as a possible cause.  Supplemental iron will alleviate WED symptoms in those patients with severe iron deficiency.  It is assumed that the lack of iron impairs the balance between thyroid hormone and dopamine.  There is also a genetic influence, which is called primary WED.  It is thought that primary WED patients are born with less dopamine neurons than normal individuals so dopamine is in insufficient quantities to modulate the circadian rise in thyroid hormone.  WED can also be caused by medications that work to augment thyroid hormone.  This is a side effect of some medications.

Up to 90% of WED sufferers present with Periodic Limb Movements in Sleep, which are intermittent repetitive movements of the arms and legs during sleep.  During sleep the spinal cord continues to receive inputs and the spinal reflex is triggered causing limb movement.  Patients with Periodic Limb Movements in Sleep are thought to be more severely effected by WED.

In addition to many drugs that act to worsen the severity of WED, there are also many clinical conditions that either increase the severity of existing WED or triggers a new WED episode.  Other secondary WED episodes may be caused by pregnancy, hyperthyroidism (Grave's disease), diabetes, and chronic renal failure.

This research provides powerful arguments regarding the catalysts responsible for WED symptoms and also provides insight about the nature of the associated, circadian rhythm sleep disorder.  Managing your WED symptoms may mean getting a better night's sleep.  Blessings to you in the new year!

Highly Sensitive People (HSP) can "regulate" their strong emotions

I have noticed that when I am with a person that is aggressive, angry or sad, I have an intense personal emotional reaction that is directed inward.  In other words, I have internalized the intense emotion and it bounces around inside of me as if I am holding on to it.  It can be an uncomfortable experience if you aren't aware of what is happening and if you don't realize you can form a boundary by giving that emotion back to that person or blocking that emotion.  You may have instinctively developed your own toolchest of defenses that may or may not be effective in social situations.  One of my favorites is to withdraw and not expose myself to caustic people, but this isn't always an effective way to deal with a person's aggression or anger.  This is especially true in the workplace or in another social setting where withdrawal is either not desirable or even possible.  

Dr. Elaine Aron

Elaine Aron, M.A. in clincial psychology and Ph.D. in clinical depth psychology, has dedicated much of her life to the study of highly sensitive people.  Her Web site at www.hsperson.com includes back issues of her online newsletter that is packed full of valuable information for the HSP.  In her February 2013 Comfort Zone newsletter Dr. Aron details how to manage the intense emotions that may bombard you at unexpected moments.  The article is titled "A Few Suggestions for "Regulating" Fear, Grief, Anger and Joy".  Dr Aron intends to change her newsletter into a blog where readers can comment and interact with each other.  If you are an HSP this may be a blog of interest to follow.  Dr. Elaine Aron is the author of The Highly Sensitive Person and The Highly Sensitive Child, as well as The Highly Sensitive Person Workbook and The Highly Sensitive Person in Love, a book about how sensitivity affects our close relationships.  You will also find a self-test to determine if you are a HSP on Dr. Aron's Website.  Enjoy!!

Title change for my blog . . .

I have decided to change the title of my blog to more accurately describe how I'm feeling about my daily battle with fibromyalgia.  A storm surrounds me each day as I struggle to make sense of this illness and struggle to maintain some sort of "normal" lifestyle.  I push my symptoms to the periphery in an effort to provide a safe space for myself -- the eye of this storm called fibromyalgia.  Within that storm are the struggles to secure competent and compassionate healthcare.  As that storm rages around me I am in a tenuous position of entering that storm at any time as I try to more forward in my life.  Most days I find myself in a safe place that is just a hair away from complete disaster.  Some times I cross the fuzzy line into that storm, because I can't see where that safe eye of the storm begins and where it ends.  So I navigate this storm with a sense of caution, anxiety and pure abandon and rebellion.  Pure abandon and rebellion are my adventurous side that tends to get me into trouble!  But some times getting into trouble is exactly what I need in order to feel alive.  I embark on a new leg of this journey called fibromyalgia to become more in touch with my personal experience and expose my vulnerabilities to the world.  To authentically share your most personal thoughts creates a vulnerable space that can enter the eye of this storm.  As I read blogs that I follow and new blogs that I discover I think about the author's courage when sharing their innermost secrets.  I appreciate that authenticity in the face of the storm we share called fibromyalgia.

Highly sensitive people are especially at risk when encountering a narcissist

People with fibromyalgia are frequently highly sensitive people or empaths.  Being an empath means that you have the ability to actually feel the emotions of others as if they are your own.  When others are celebrating and happy, the result for the empath is exuburance and euphoria; that feels so good.  But when others are grieving, sad, angry or experiencing a "hot" emotion, the result can be difficult for the empath if the empath has no way to protect themselves.  Being sensitive to the environment and energy fields of others requires a special skill set that other people don't have and don't really need.  One of the biggest difficulties in being an empath is that other people don't understand your sensitive and expanded perceptions of the world and the result is feeling isolated from others.

Tyler J. Hebert describes the empath in depth in his article "Empath (The Extra-Sensitive Being)" at http://www.academia.edu/2611976/empath_the_extra_sensitive_being.  Hebert describes the empath as "a person that is hypersensitive to the emotions and energy of other people, as well as animals".  Hebert goes on to say that empaths have a sense of "knowing' and a very strong intuitive sense.  In other words, empaths have an extremely high EQ or emotional quotient.  I find it interesting that the way we have been easily identified is we have fibromyalgia.  Empaths are selfless people that often times put the needs of others before themselves.  Empaths are people that are loved in their social circles, because they relate to other people on a much deeper level than most.  The empath's energy is different and people automatically sense this energy and are drawn to the empath.  The empath's astuteness, which can leave the empath with feelings of isolation, can put the empath at higher risk of suicidal tendencies.  The empath absorbs the emotions of others and if the empath is unaware of this, the empath has the tendency to own those emotions.  That's why I frequently remind myself that what I receive from others is not about me.  Gaining an understanding of your empathic nature is critical in determining which emotions belong to yourself and which emotions belong to someone else.  Without that knowledge the empath may personalize everything around them and become defensive.  In addition, the empath may be labeled as co-dependant due to their sensitivity and identification with others' emotions, especially in relationship to their close partner.

The opposite of being an empath is narcissism.  A personal relationship with a narcissist takes a huge toll on the empath.  The hallmark features of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder is lack of empathy for others, verbal abusiveness, inability to relate to others on a deeper level, manipulative behaviors, controlling behaviors and explosive anger with exaggerated acting out behaviors that are not appropriate for the circumstances.  They frequently are pathological liars and they view other people in absolutes -- either all good or all bad.  Surprisingly, narcissists have a low self-esteem, which results in a need to be adored often.  They are also quite unaware of their own narcissism, which results in blaming their short-comings on others.

 Narcissists have no tolerance for disagreement and they never admit to being wrong.  There are different types of narcissists with numerous subtypes, making the identification of the narcissist difficult.  It can take a decade or more to identify the narcissist and if you are in a close relationship with a narcissist it can take absolute decades since their behavior can be confusing; you can't see the forest for the trees.  Narcissistic behaviors are also difficult to identify since they are masters of the facade.  Narcissists work diligently to mask their true selves, which results in their popularity in superficial circumstances.  When a narcissist is known on a deeper level their popularity fades and they have few if any long term relationships. 

I know the deep toll a narcissist has on an empath first-hand.  My mother, my identical twin sister, my daughter and my former husband are all narcissists.  In order to have relationships with these people I had to lose myself in the process.  I struggled for years to maintain these relationships, but in the end the effort it took and the toll on me was just too much, especially after I became chronically ill with fibromyalgia.  The continuous psychic bombardment required more energy than I could muster and in the end my health has suffered.  It is so critical for the fibromyalgia sufferer to gain an understanding of their gifts so there is an ability to set boundaries on the emotional energies of others that can suck the life out of you.  With every blessing resides a curse or downside.  If you are aware of which emotions belong to you and which ones belong to another you will be able to moderate your response to the heat of those emotions.  Anger has been a difficult emotion for me to moderate since I feel another's anger throughout my entire body.  Anger along with fear are two of the hottest emotions and your guard must be strong enough to avoid their devastating effects.  When interacting with someone I remain intellectually aware of how that person makes me feel so I am better able to moderate my reactions.  This has taken years of practice to develop the ability to keep my guard in place.  I purposely maintain some level of distance as a means of personal protection and when hot emotions begin to swirl around me I seek to give them back to their origin.

In the end, your ability to intellectually understand your gifts (along with their benefits and difficulties) will help you have more control over the environment that can seek to destroy you otherwise.  Blessings to you as you discover the essence that is you and the wonderful gifts that you have!

We are only human and that's a good thing

Being human is quite a rollercoaster ride: we have lots of ups and lots of downs.  The difficulty with a chronic illness is it seems as though there are more downs than ups and that most likely is reality.  To face a difficult challenge every day requires a great deal of emotional and physical energy, which is probably in short supply.  When you think you are about as low as you can go, you discover that "pit" you're sinking into is bottomless.  Being highly sensitive sure doesn't help.  You are not only dealing with your own realities, but you are receiving signals from others which tend to zap your emotional energy.  So what is a "Fibromite" to do when that rollercoaster seems to be going in only one direction:  down?

Barbara Keddy, a Women and Fibromyalgia blogger (see my blog list), recently wrote about self-acceptance and avoiding self-criticism.  Barbara's introspective blog encourages people with chronic illness to avoid negative self-talk that only serves to put one's self down.  The messages that we receive from people around us, including medical professionals, can be negative messages that we may be tempted to personalize, which may then lead to negative self-talk.  The messages we receive from others actually tell us who those people are and their messages are not about us at all.  That can be a difficult concept since as humans (extra sensitive humans!) we most likely will have an emotional response to the messages we receive.  That's just about being human.  But we are also intellectual beings too and that gives us the opportunity to decide how we will use that message and our emotional response to that message.  It is the decision you make about the message and your response that will determine whether you have closure or if you sink further into that "pit".  For example, if a health professional doesn't give you a supportive message you may feel anger, frustration, sadness and a myriad of other emotions.  That's just about being human.  If we seek out a more supportive health professional, that's a positive action.  Ultimately that's how we get what we need for ourselves and find closure at the same time
.
We have a tendency to label our human experience as either good or bad, but in reality there is no such thing.  Our human experience is what it is and it is a wonderful thing to go along for that ride.  Our human experience should be a full experience that includes the entire continuum without being censored.  Our emotional reaction to our experience should be embraced and our intellectual understanding of that experience is just that -- understanding.  Isn't that what we all seek?  Understanding.  Understanding must first come from ourselves, which requires complete self-acceptance.  I become frustrated with others that don't understand, but my chronic illness is my experience and not theirs.  Other people don't have the frame of reference to really understand.  So I seek my own understanding and the understanding from others that share my experience.  I also extend understanding to others that can't quite understand my experience.  How could they understand?  This is a difficult concept for highly sensitive people since you more readily have true empathy and compassion for others, but not everyone has this ability.  The other day a person very close to me stated that "I need to just get over it".  That initially made me feel angry, frustrated and sad.  What I realized is this person doesn't have the capacity to really understand my experience and I must let it go.

My experience belongs to me and my response to that experience belongs to me.  There is no right or no wrong; it's about being human.  It is unfair for us to compare our response to the response others have, because our experience is unique to us.  When my day appears bleak it's a signal that I need to care for myself and that my needs must be my first priority.  Grief and loss are to be expected so honor those feelings and take care of you.  Be kind and gentle to yourself first and then you will be able to extend that to others.  Your experience comes first.  Feelings of anxiety, emotional pain and other uncomfortable emotions are not a sign of weakness.  We are emotional beings because we are human.  The more we embrace these emotions the better understanding we have of ourselves, and our ability to resolve uncomfortable feelings comes more easily.

When you look to others for inspiration and hope, avoid putting yourself down in the process.  Those people have down days and tough days too; you are not alone.  It's just part of being human and that's a good thing.  Blessings to you as you courageously meet the challenges of every day!

The nuance of attitude

Ozzie Osbourne with his son Jack

When I first got sick with fibromyalgia and I was dealing with the pain of an injury and two back-to-back surgeries I knew that my attitude was going to play a big role in my ability to overcome the misery I was in.  I have always tried to have a positive attitude, but some days that's easier said than done.  Experience has taught me that a positive attitude makes my day go better.  But despite this knowledge there are times when my attitude is in the pits and I don't like it there.  It's at those times that I seek out the wisdom of others suffering with a chronic illness.  This morning I was watching the news and I learned that Ozzie Osbourne's son, Jack, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis a while back.  Jack appeared on today's morning news to briefly talk about how he deals with his diagnosis and he made a profound statement.  Jack said, "I don't live with MS; MS lives with me."  The nuance of his outlook really struck me; he doesn't want his chronic, progressive illness to rob him of his life.  He views his illness as only a single component that makes up the whole of his identity and his being.

It is easy to allow a chronic illness rob you of your life especially when suffering with a life altering illness like fibromyalgia.  Fibromyalgia seeks to demand our constant attention since we must manage metamorphasizing symptoms that change character, severity, and location every hour of each day.  Fibromyalgia's chronic symptoms seek to erode our attitude and our quality of life, but that's only if we allow that to happen.  We are in control of our destiny despite the unexpected roadblocks that appear during this journey.  When we feel discouraged and our attitude is down in the dumps it is beneficial to discover how others are dealing with their roadblocks.  We may not be able to do what others our own age do, but we cannot give up our life for this roadblock called fibromyalgia.  This challenge seeks to find out what we are really made of and how tough we really are:  we are warriors.

The strategies in my toolbox are to avoid negative thoughts and situations that breed negative thoughts, focus my time on the things I really love to do, surround myself with positive people, and seek out the wisdom of others that suffer with a chronic illness.  I am interested in knowing what strategies you keep in your toolbox . . . .    Blessings to all you warriors as you go through each day!