Smashed Melon

Pain. Why must you remain?
The sun's too bright . . . I like the rain.
             Everyone thinks Im insane, but its pain.

Tired -- but also so wired!
If I could get a job I would be fired.

It's hard to cope when you're losing hope.
Do you want to go?  I have to say No!

When will it end? I don't have a friend . . .
            my head needs to mend.

It's hard to fight when you can't stand the light.
There's others like me, all stuck up a tree --
            no, maybe a cave, to this illness I am a slave.

I'm losing my fight, 'cause I can't sleep at night.
I'm up and I'm down . . . my face growing a frown.

People so rude!  I've gotten a bad attitude.
People think you're lazy and crazy,
             my eyes are all glazy.

I'll pop the pill, to get the will, to climb the hill.

PAIN . . .

My eyes always red, a metal bar through my head!
Yeah -- I know what was said, these feelings I've read.

I wish it would all leave, and that they would believe --
it makes me want to heave.

When will it be gone?  It has been too long.
I will keep up a smile, but how long is this while?
              I fall in a pile.

Tomorrow will be better, so I can be a go getter.
Yes, I'll boo hoo from pain and my messed up brain,
              I'm glad for the rain.  

I can.  I can still love, I can still smile.
And at times the pain goes for awhile.

Life is not lost, but I've paid a high cost.

The Laughter is still here, although not as clear,
               but I'm losing my fear.

                           Kind of ironic in a great way....NO HEADACHE TODAY!!!


My wonderful, loyal friend, Lori, shared this poem that she wrote.  Lori is a creative jewelry artist that loves life, gardening, and people.  She has a clever sense of humor and is compassionate with others; Lori has been a wonderful support for me even though her own days are so challenging.  She is a beautiful and sensitive woman and has been ill with fibromyalgia and other complications since she was in her teens . . . for about 31 years.

Are you sleeping at night? PART THREE

 I know the answer to "Are you sleeping at night?"  The answer for most of us with fibromyalgia is "no".  I had an appointment with the sleep specialist yesterday to learn the results of the sleep study that was done 1 1/2 weeks ago.  The good news was that I don't have sleep apnea.  I really wasn't interested in wearing a Cpap mask every night.  The other news I received was that my sleep study was "normal".  There was no evidence of Willis-Ekbom disease, probably because I'm taking Ropinirol to treat this.  There was no evidence of alpha EEG anomaly and no periodic limb movement disorder, which is frequently a component of Willis-Ekbom disease.  As I recall that sleep study night, I had slept poorly, experienced periods of "twilight sleep", had several episodes of awakening suddenly and woke up frequently to change positions and try to get comfortable.  The sleep specialist thought I need better pain management at night, but otherwise I am sleeping fine.  The disconnect that I see is the fact that even though the sleep study demonstrates that I'm sleeping normally, that isn't my experience and the sleep I get is nonrestorative.  The sleep specialist said that I would probably benefit from seeing a psychologist for cognitive behavioral therapy to improve the anxiety I have about going to bed at night.  I explained to the sleep specialist that I have absolutely no